Rhinetown, a little different

Rhinetown

A rash of Rhine-bank motor homes broadcast Bundesliga
From Achilles' shields and the Jesuit college is closing:
The group can deal, will later uncork Gewürztraminer
At wine festivals concluded by 'rock stars' overdosing
On crimes committed against musical humanity
And the piped paddle-steamboat accordions battle beats
With disco cruisers and containers freighting white Audis
To Cologne - while, off-Rhine, Frankfurt (am Main) counts tax receipts.
At weekends hinterland parks with tended paths and signed walks
Echo to the Iron Man ker-klunk of local baseball leagues,
In Kunstmuseum back room post-docs write Otto Dix talks.
Below, sinewed heptathletes dodge leashed dogs and frisbee geeks.
Mark Twain once hucked-up here with all the usual suspects
Of the grand theft auto tour who inflamed all their senses
With sublime stimuli for their unexpected subtexts.
Peak-top castles canto'd by many now host conferences
Where global ethical governance Powerpoints are penned
After veal and port and minstrel songs as new strategy
To spark the market engine; tidy warehouses that send
Good goods up and down stream without need of an elegy.
Spry mystics, dry vintners, prefabricated haus gurus
Ferment their vintages high in these heritage site hills
Explained by the staffs of multi-lingual tourist bureaus
In stark example of Germany's pan-european skills.
With magic Merrells sodden the only shoe shop around
Has silver Birkenstock sandals deigned by Heidi Klum
(@ several hundred Euros) - few spotted on the ground.
Ein bischen half-arsed hoodies on T-Mobile chewing gum:
Small town rebellion, Commerz-bankers' sons don't belong,
They're still winning bets by BlackBerry cheat in cocktail bars
- Peopled by red-braced Mohicans, though that could just be Bonn -
Serving tinned Sontag brunch spaghetti with chill-out guitars.
These towns that lack the serious loot and ripe Reeperbahns,
Without golf-karting Messe halls or Keifer collection
Tide along the waves of summer seasons with few alarms,
Such picturesque business gives strangers cause for reflection.